Good News All Around

I no longer have a boyfriend. I now have a fiance.

After eating lunch at Taco Cabana on Saturday, we went to the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens. The boyfriend handed me his camera and had me take lots of pictures. I could tell he was a little nervous, but I tried not to focus on his nerves. While I had a hunch he was going to propose, I didn't want to believe that too much so as to not be disappointed.

We stopped on a bridge. He told me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and I said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him as well. Then he said he couldn't wait any longer and got done on one knee. He opened the ring box and asked if I would marry him. I said yes, of course.

We kissed and hugged, a lot, and then we walked through the gardens some more before heading to meet Robbie.

Later that evening, we went to the water gardens in Fort Worth, which was where the boyfriend (now fiance) initially had planned on proposing. Sitting next to the quiet pool, which is my favorite part of the water gardens, were two of his friends who are in a band, Poor Rich Folk, I absolutely love. They put on a private concert for us with my favorite songs as the set list, and then the fiance and I headed to dinner in downtown Fort Worth.

My Heart Is Damaged Damaged Damaged (how you gonna fix it?)

I grew up with family spread all over the country. I went several Christmas' and Thanksgiving's without seeing any family members outside of my parents, brother, and dad's mom who lived an hour away. I kind of thought it was normal to live so far away from family. I expected to always live far away from family, to distance myself in that way.

The boyfriend grew up with all of his family in Oklahoma. I try to act like the opposite, but in a lot of ways, I am quite jealous of this. I always wanted family nearby. I just don't like to act like I want that. Instead, I try to act as independently as possible.

This independence thing? It's good in a lot of ways. I know I'll always make it. I know I'll never give up. I know I can survive anything that is thrown my direction. At the same time, though, it's bad in a lot of ways, a lot of ways I never realized until the boyfriend began pointing them out to me.

Like a lot of people, I don't like to be wrong, ever. In fact, growing up, I enjoyed always being right so much that I wore tee-shirts proclaiming my intelligence and I decorated my closet door with bumper stickers that said things like I'm not opinionated; I'm just always right. I was a joy to live with as a teenager, I promise.

At 23, I still don't like to be wrong. I also don't like to depend on people. What I am starting to figure out, ever so slowly and truly only by force, is that everyone is going to be wrong at some point. Since I spent so many years being "right", it's time for me to be wrong, whether I like it or not.

And honestly, I think my life will be a lot better once I start admitting faults and begin leaning on people. Life spent in solitude it's not so fun at all. In fact, it sucks. And, yes, I am hesitant to let people in, but when you meet nice people as well as people you know you will always have in your life, it's important to let them in and not just push them away.

This all hit me last night and today spending time with the boyfriend and with his family. They're not blood relatives, true, but they're great people I can't wait to claim as my family. That's the great thing about relationships, I think. They allow you to expand the circle of people you confide in, love, and trust.

New Theme Songs? "Damaged," Danity Kane & "Break the Ice," Britney Spears; iwillnotbeashamed

The new apartment is beginning to come together. All I need to purchase, now, are: two end tables, a microwave stand, a bistro set, and curtains. Amazing how that all happened so quickly.

And I begin my new job tomorrow, which means I am taking myself to the mall this afternoon to purchase a new pair of blue jeans. We're allowed to wear jeans on Fridays, as long as they have no holes, and right now, all my jeans have holes. So it's time to purchase a new pair along with a patch so I can repair my favorite pair of jeans that I have worn out in nine months. You honestly do not want to know how often I wear these suckers. Might also treat myself to a new pair of dress pants if I find some on sale.

Will have Internet in my apartment on Saturday night. Expect pictures, updates, and stories then!