Competition and Friendships

What is it that pushes a woman to constantly compare herself to the other women around her? In my nonverbal communication class, we just finished discussing just how important appearance is, how even babies at 2 or 3 months old can differentiate between an attractive person and unattractive person. Is this what pushes a woman to look at the people around her and then peer at herself and decide what needs to be changed? Is it really just as simple as something we have ticking inside of us? It might be true for finding that person to spend a night, a week, a month, or a lifetime with, but what about when it comes to forming and then keeping friendships.

On Friday night, I went out to a bar with several girl friends, and within the first ten minutes of finally getting into the bar (after having waited outside for thirty minutes), I had a few girls compliment my curled hair. I said 'thank you', but I stopped short after that because what do you say when a random woman compliments you? I live in the real world, or as close to the real world as I can get at 22 and still in college, and in the real world, women just aren't always that nice to you unless you know them or they know someone you are with. And there was a compliment in the bathroom, when I was trying to make sure my eyeliner and eyeshadow were still on my eyes and not running down my cheeks, from a girl who, while quite intoxicated, was so kind and sincere about the compliment that it took me (again) by surprise.

I'm used to the girls who stare you down if they see you out with a guy they see as hot. I'm used to the girls who roll their eyes when you say "excuse me" and the girls who do their best to keep their circle as tight as possible because life as we know it will end if someone new is let into the circle.

At least that is what I was used to. Maybe now I'm entering into a new area of girls, friendship, and life where everyone is searching for that close group to share their lives with, where people are ready and willing to open themselves up and be just the slightest bit vulnerable with their stories if it means they might find a soulmate.

Maybe we're all just searching, and sometimes the only way to search is to weed people out by being that bitchy girl and seeing who can handle it. Maybe it's not something we are biologically programmed with as my nonverbal communication class suggests.